


Glue

by MeenahAquatics1111



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, Child Abuse, Depression, F/F, Humanstuck, M/M, Suicide, Violence, attempted suicide, just alot of abuse in general
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-16
Updated: 2015-07-02
Packaged: 2018-04-04 17:34:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4146627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeenahAquatics1111/pseuds/MeenahAquatics1111
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat decides to keep a journal of his life living with his abusive father,  dealing with the loss of his mother, and exploring his sexuality before meeting his soon to be boy-friend .</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. family feud

**Author's Note:**

> so this is my 2nd fic here, well I guess it still might be my first since I have no intention of finishing the first one. so here enjoy.  
> YOU MAY WANT TO NOTE THAT THE FIRST HALF WILL BE WRITTEN IN KARKAT'S POV ( AS HE SPEAKS ABOUT HIS PAST) AND WILL LATER TURN OVER TO THE NARRATOR (WHEN WE GET TO FUTURE KAT)

Glue

I like to think I’m the glue holding everything together; holding the lives of everyone I meet into one single piece. I guess it’s because I can’t stand the thought of having to witness the fall of a friend, but mostly because I know how it feels to be broken.

Chapter 1  
  
My mother was beautiful; so I was told. Seeing that she died just days after I was born, I can say that I’ve never really met her. My dad remembers her though. When I was younger he’d go on and on about how gorgeous and how utterly fearless she was. He used to tell me of times where he could of sworn she would have killed herself due to all her crazy and nearly insane stunts.  
“I laugh in the face of danger!” she always said, and according to dad she had the keenest sense when it came to movies, yet she’d ironically choose the cheesiest one to piss him off. As I grew I became used to not having a mom around. I knew as much as I missed her, there would be no way to get her back. Unfortunately my dad didn’t get it. Apparently moving on wasn’t in his agenda. I noticed over my preteen years that he’d become more obsessive, more erratic, and jumpy and just all around moody. I swore that if my dad was female I would have thought he was PMSing or whatever the fuck it is girls do every month.  
  
Dad and I moved around a ton when I was young, so I never really had a consistent school or any friends for that matter. It was mostly because of his job. From what I can remember he’d get fired quite a lot, and it was mostly from lashing out at other employees. The jobs that he wasn’t fired from required us to move (which I can tell you was many a time.) anyways I guess it was because he was always angry, confused, and depressed that made him act that way, and I could always see it in his eyes; the way he yearned for her. I used to get the idea that maybe he was never really happy in the first place, and that all that smiling was all just for show; for me to grow up and become happy or at least not like him. It makes me wonder was he always feeling so alone.  
  
When I turned thirteen I found out about Dad’s drinking problem. Dad was working late and I decided I was old enough to stay up and watch Futurama because that obviously what rebellious kids my age do. That night I heard the door open and shut, so I knew dad was home. I continued watching, because I knew it was late and he was tired and he wouldn’t care. I remember pinching my nose after smelling this thick musky scent. I walked into the kitchen and the stench of vomit and alcohol nearly blinded me. He looked sick and he was holding himself up against the kitchen sink when I walked in. He turned his head slightly to look at me, and I flinched so hard, I’d nearly pulled a muscle. I watched as he stumbled over to me, mumbling curses under his weary breath, and I wasn’t sure if I should help him or not. My thoughts were no more as he grabbed the collar of my shirt and hauled me towards him. We were eye to eye face to face, our noses just a couple inches away from each other. His breath reeked and I tried my best to get a way, but his grip was so tight. I remember his sour words, as if I could have seen them make their way out of his mouth in a haze of diluted impurities and vile confections.  
  
“I never wanted you.” he mumbled, shaking, and angry. I wanted to just run away at that point, I didn’t really have any courage to lash back at him, but before I could say anything, his fist came flying towards me. I flinched and closed my eyes hoping that I wouldn’t feel the pain if I didn’t see it. I heard a crunch, the sound of bones breaking. I heard a snap, the sound of my neck cracking. I heard a thud, the sound of my body falling to the floor and the footsteps walking away from it all.  
I hated him. I hated everything. That was all that was left of me.


	2. interviews are a pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long. I decided to rewrite chapter two.  
> I think I forgot to mention that this is a humanstuck.

CHAPTER 2  
  
Somewhere along the road I decide that I didn’t have a “DAD” no, instead I had a Liam; a cruel, unloving, and abusive Liam. After what happened a year ago and what continues to happen today, I decided to cut off all contact with that asshole. I guess you could say it worked, however staying in your room all day everyday gets pretty boring. There’s only so much homework you can do before your brain begins to rot*.  
  
Anyway I had quite a bit of hobbies to keep me occupied. I was pretty good a sketching, at least that’s what I thought. I didn’t really like the idea of drawing or art in general. It seemed pretty pointless to me when I was younger. When was it going to help any of us in the real world? That was my opinion before I actually tried to draw, and realized just how calming it really was. You could say I enjoyed it; after all it did help me take my mind off of a lot of unnecessary things.  
  
~flashback~  
  
I remember my first parent teacher interview. I was in 5th grade and despite doing pretty well in school, my teacher insisted on meeting my parents. Of course I tried to get out of it. I was the only one who really knew what ‘Liam’ was like, and the fact that he was so unpredictable made me worried that he’d show up drunk. I was terrified that evening.  
  
“Ugh where is he?” Karkat paced around the kitchen anxiously. It was two minutes past six and his dad still hadn’t arrived yet.  
“I should have just told him to come to the interview in person, instead of shoving that stupid note underneath his damn door!” He said frustrated at the fact that they had less than eight minutes to get there. Karkat pulled at his hair angrily as he tried to figure out what to do. Just then the door screeched open and in came Liam. The younger Vantas jumped up and turned around to face the elder.  
  
“Uh, did you rea-” Karkat began, but was interrupted by Liam.  
  
“Your interview’s about to start, kid. We need to go.” He growled, and proceeded to go out the door. Karkat watched the way he stumbled through the door. There was absolutely no way in hell he was going to sit in that murder-mobile with the undertaker drunk as shit. Nope. Not today. Death could wait.  
  
“Wait!” Karkat yelled. James turned around, glaring back at his son.  
  
“What?”  
  
“You’re …not drunk, r-right” he said hesitantly  
  
“Do you want to be late or not Karkat. I have better things to do then go to your stupid interview.” Liam replied, as he got into his car. Karkat followed and took his place in the backseat. As they made their way out of the drive way Karkat decided that it would be best to close his eyes. Every swerve and honk of another’s horn made him grip his seat tighter. If Karkat was ever going to die from an anxiety attack this would be it. Liam mumbled curses under his breath whenever traffic was too slow for him or to argue with an object he swore wasn’t there a second ago. The car made its final jerk and turned sharply into the school’s parking lot. Karkat’s eyes were still shut tight and his finger nails digging deep into the leather seat.  
  
Liam looked into the rear view mirror, glaring at the mess he knew as his son. “Are you going stay in here or what?” Karkat opened his eyes and made his way out of the car. James was already half way to the door and following behind him at a reasonable distance was Karkat. The two stepped into the classroom, and were kindly invited in by Mr. English.  
  
“Hi there, you must be Mr. Vantas.” Jake says gleefully while extending his hand out to Karkat’s guardian. “It’s a pleasure to be able to mee-” Liam glanced at Jake’s hand and scoffed, rudely pushing past him and towards the two chairs set up in front of his desk.  
  
“Let’s just get this over with.” He said wretchedly. Jake, glanced down at Karkat, a little worried. His face positioned awkwardly, as if to say ‘is he normally this miserable?’ Karkat answered with a shrug and walked over to the adjacent chair unoccupied by his father. Jake sighed, ‘this was going to be a long night he thought, but despite that he wasn’t going to let such a small kafuffle like that bring him into the dumps. Jake mentally knocked himself out of his troubles and joined the two at his desk.  
  
“Anyway, like I was saying. I am really glad to meet the parent of one of my prized students.” He said as merrily as possible.  
  
“Is that so?” Liam retorted, making a disinterested face.  
  
“Yes! Karkat is one of my brightest students, and I have to say that I have absolutely no problems with him whatsoever. I believe the only thing I’m worried about really is his sociability.” Jake said matter of fact like. His gaze dropped to Karkat, who seemed to be in his own world, starring at the floor, swinging his feet, totally disconnected.  
  
“Is that all?” The elder Vantas said conceitedly. “Because I don’t see the point of coming here this late to talk about this kid’s worthless social life!” Liam shouted, standing up and banging his fists against the wooden desk  
  
“Mr. Vantas, Please sit down. I assure you Karkat’s social life is not worthless. I’m just worried about him. He’s very quiet in class, I-I can’t get a word out of him sometimes, he doesn’t have any friends and-”  
  
“Who’d want to be friends with the kid anyway? Just look at him, he’s pathetic.” Karkat sat still; there was no doubt that he heard everything. It didn’t hurt. No. he’s heard those words all too often, so it was easy for him not to react; not to feel, but it wasn’t the same. Here there were no rooms for him to lock himself into, no silent place to think, no empty rooms filled with judgeless walls to watch him cry and to forget about him when it was over. Here, there was hope, and as little as it was he felt that just maybe Mr. English could help his dad get better.  
  
“I don’t understand! Why do you treat him like this?”  
“That’s not any of your business!” Liam grabbed Karkat by the arm and hauled Karkat angrily out the door. Jake watched as they left, completely bewildered at the event that had taken place. He sat back down, holding his now pounding head.  
~back home~  
  
“You see what you did, kid.” Liam said between his teeth. He slammed Karkat back against the wall between each word then stopped, holding him there as he caught his breath. Sweat rolled down the sides of his face and through the stubble on his chin. Karkat could see that he was clearly fatigued, which would give him the chance to run. He tried to kick him, hoping to aim at his crotch and bring him down all together, unfortunately Karkat missed. Liam quickly picked up on what he was doing and quickly grabbed Karkat’s arms, rendering him from running away.  
  
“I’m sick of your shit.” He says, and then laughs. He gets serious again. Karkat digs his fingernails into Liam’s hand as his last attempt to escape. As aggressive as possible, Liam grabbed Karkat’s arm, twisting and shoving it back against the wall and over the smaller Vantas’ head. Karkat winced in pain, kicking frantically at his father. It was enough to loosen Liam’s grip and for Karkat to bolt away.  
  
~end of flashback~  
  
Ugh, I hate that day with a passion, but fly me to the moon and blow it up 10 times, cuz there’s more. So after I got the beating of a life time, we had to move. Again! Apparently Mr. English had called child protective services or whatever, and Liam panicked? I guess; which makes me wonder. If he didn’t want me why the hell did he try to protect me from them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nobody's going to notice the little hope pun insert with jake.....yup  
> shhh

**Author's Note:**

> short chapter, no?  
> chapter 2 coming soon.


End file.
